Freebirth story of Wolfgang Wade

My mucus plug came out early on the Monday morning when I went to the toilet. It was truly a gross and fascinating sight to behold. Mick and I went to Momos for brunch, then dropped in to see his work mates at the tattoo shop. Lovely Emily said I looked really done being pregnant. I knew that night would be the night that bringing my baby earthside would commence.

When we got home I tried to work on an artwork for my upcoming exhibition as I knew it would be difficult to increase my art practice momentum again after the birth but I felt really irritated with it and couldn’t relax into the process. I left it alone and just relaxed for the afternoon.

That evening, Mick and I were watching the Nicholas Cage horror movie ‘Mandy’ in bed and I started experiencing contractions. At first it felt like period pain but gradually increased in sensation.

Bits of fluid started leaking so I laid down a towel. After we finished the movie, Mick got the birth pool set up. I went through contractions until early morning and then everything slowed down and I knew my body needed to rest. We both managed to have a sleep in the early morning for a few hours.

Contractions started again early in morning but I let Mick sleep in for a bit before waking him.

I was in the birth pool again by midday, feeling like I wasn’t making much progress and spent a lot of time looking at rainbows being refracted through a crystal and light dancing on the wall. Mick kept tending to me, offering support and keeping the birth pool water warm by heating up saucepans of water on the stove (as we ran out of hot water).

I had a big cry about my family being so broken and messed up. I also tried to eat for more energy.

I kept telling myself things like ‘this too shall pass’ every time the pain robbed my breath.

I had explosive diarrhoea in very late afternoon and luckily made it to the toilet. I cleaned myself off and went back to lay down on the bed because I was extremely worried about shitting in the pool and then birthing my baby into shit. Once my stomach settled and I felt my body was finished purging for the time being, I returned to the birth pool but kept undulating between the two spaces.

Contractions started getting more painful and more on top of each other.

It was unbearable agony as I met each wave. I knew things were progressing at this point. I spewed 4 times due to the intensity of the pain cradled the spew bucket in the birth pool.

Mick kept the birth pool hot, running between the stove and me. He also alternated time in the birth pool with me to support me physically as the waves kept moving through my body.

He held my hand through contractions and kept telling me I could do it when I became all encompassed by doubt. Through tears I said, ‘why did I think I could do this? I’m not strong enough’

and begged to god to help me get through the to the other side of the pain. I observed and caught myself trying to run from the pain, going to the birth pool for relief and clutching at the pause between contractions.

Mick reassured me repeatedly that I was made for this and it would be all be worth it to look into our baby’s eyes.

I had to remind myself to breathe because I was getting hysterical during contractions from the pain.

At around 9pm I was feeling extremely fatigued and Mick called a midwife we know who is supportive of freebirth (undisturbed physiological birth) and asked for confirmation that all was going as it was supposed to, which thus far seemed so. She said if I wanted to check, could I put my fingers in my vagina to feel how far baby was, to feel if she was pushing against the cervix yet, as my waters hadn’t properly broken yet it would be safe to do so. I felt the hardness pushing against the cervix yet also felt disheartened that the labour was still going.

When I was laying on the bed the contractions were firing in rapid succession and while Mick ducked out of the room to get more boiling water, with a mighty surge my waters burst all over the bed! It just kept gushing and gushing and was a huge relief for my body to release. I smiled and felt an energising surge of joy. It was orgasmic!

Mick messaged Mima (our neighbour and friend) to ask if she could please bring more towels and thankfully she did as we did severely underestimated how many we would need to get through the birth!

He also asked our friend Astro if we could borrow her TENS machine to help with the pain which she brought quickly, but I couldn’t use it because the electric sensation it produced felt too intense from the moment it touched my skin and I couldn’t handle it in any capacity but was so thankful for the support and care nonetheless.

For the remainder of the labour I moved through contractions mostly on the bed, screaming from the searing pain and feeling the urge to push.

I wailed uncontrollably. I growled from the deepest and darkest parts of my being.

I shit a bit on my body pillow!

I spent a lot of energy worrying that I was prolapsing my anus not realising that I was actually pushing my baby out! Then I felt my labia stretch, and an intense surge of pressure and a ripping/burning feeling and I asked Mick if he could see baby’s head- which he could!

He encouraged me to come back to the birth pool which I struggled with but he helped me across. I then got into a kneeling position and started to feel the ring of fire where baby’s head was crowning. It felt as though my vagina and vulva were ripping in half and although I was panicking from the sensation I knew I couldn’t run from it. The only way out is through. I was wailing and crying, saying to Mick again and again how much it was hurting and how it was the worst pain I’d ever felt in my whole life. He continued to reassure me and support me physically and emotionally. He thought I may be labouring for a while longer so he went to prepare some more boiling water for the pool so that I could labour at a comfortable temperature. Not even a moment after he stepped out of the doorway, the rest of baby’s body shot out as I pushed a huge final push and I caught her and brought her to my chest. I called out to Mick, ‘she’s here! She’s here!’ He ran back in and started laughing in shock at how fast it all happened. Wolfgang was born at 12.05am on the Wednesday morning under a full moon, 24/04/24. She immediately started breathing and crying and searching for my nipples with her tiny mouth, turning her head. Mick took this photo just before she latched for the first time. I then held her to my left breast and she began to suckle and soothe.

She was covered in vernix, the most beautiful little thing I’d ever seen. I held her in awe. The action of latching stimulated uterus contractions which led to the birth of the incredible and very large placenta. It was such an otherworldly entity to observe! We put it in a mixing bowl and let it float next to us as we sat in the warm water for a little longer. Soon after, we moved onto the bed as a family, admiring our beautiful daughter and taking turns holding her against our bare skin. We kept her umbilical cord and placenta attached (we dressed the placenta with herbs and salt and wrapped it up in muslin cloth) until the cord dried out after a few days which is when we cut it. We wanted to make sure all blood, stem cells and nutrients were rightfully returned to our baby.

I couldn’t be more grateful to have experienced such an amazing freebirth the first time around. Thank you Michael Wade for all of the love, care, support and for trusting me to bring our baby earthside the way I knew I needed to.